Monday, December 22, 2008

Hanging Onto Hope Is Horribly Hard Over Half The Time

My husband is hanging onto hope for us today, because I seem to have let it go. I'm hoping it is just a temporary thing, this inability to find joy or hope in a season that's supposed to be full of it.

It would be a little easier if we had hot water. And if I didn't have heart burn. And if this baby would just get here already so I could miraculously sleep better. And if I didn't have weird things coming out of my body making me feel disgusting and highlighting the need for hot water.

Today, to be honest, everything bugs me. But the good thing is that my husband has hope for both of us, which is good, because I can't be expected to hold onto it by myself consistently.

While I'm back to thinking it would just be easier to skip Christmas with everything that is happening, I would like one gift. Hot water. Coming out of the faucets. Regularly. Brought to us by competent boiler repairmen who don't leave messes on every surface in the baby's nursery and who don't flood my bathroom cabinets leaving four boxes of feminine hygiene products and various rolls of toilet paper to mop up their mess.

Yes, that would be a good Christmas gift. And it would go a long way in restoring hope.

If I could ask for a stocking stuffer, it would be the ability to drive myself somewhere without getting stuck or sliding in the snow that covers every road. But that wouldn't fit in a stocking, because it would mean the city would have to buy more than one snowplow, and everyone knows real snowplows don't fit in stockings. Ah, the joys of living in a town where they don't expect snow. Only in Canada can it be this unreal. Something tells me it would be more bearable in Florida, because you sort of expect them to be clueless about snow. But Canada? Geez. They are north after all. You'd think they'd own at least two snow plows.

Santa, I know I've been freaking out the past 24 hours and have earned myself a piece or two of coal. But it would be nice, considering all my good qualities hiding out beneath this current crisis, if you'd see fit to do something involving hot water and independent transportation. If you need Jesus to help you, make sure to ask Him. I'm currently too cranky to talk to anyone myself.

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