So goes the Psalm. And so goes Inkling, though she is scared on the inside, hurting on the outside, and facing unknowns everywhere.
There have been some complications with my delivery and recovery due to a partial fourth degree tear and four hours of pushing before the emergency forceps delivery. I've courageously faced them one by one these past 12 days, but now am in need of extra help. I'll be heading to the hospital this afternoon to be sedated so they can take care of an abcess, some extensive bleeding from my stitching near the abcess, and perhaps some other things.
I pumped two ounces last night in my first ever pumping experience, and am trying to pump this morning. But my body isn't wanting to release the milk, most likely because I can now only lay in one position and it isn't ideal for pumping. But I'm still determined to try. We hope to only need enough for one feeding. If he has to temporarily go on formula, I will not die. But I will feel like dying. At least I've been able to watch him grow plump and big from my milk already. That is saying a lot because he has a partial tongue tie that they cannot repair (because there is nothing to cut), and that makes latching painful for me. So even though his latch isn't great and thus our time nursing takes a long time, I have been able to keep on providing for my son up until this moment. I pray I can continue to provide for him in that way.
I would ask you to pray for us. Thank you.