Thursday, September 10, 2009

Determination

There are a lot of things conspiring to get me to just give up. But today I decided something after being disappointed by an expert for the millionth time this month.

I am going to fight. I am going to be valiant. I am going to write my own story with the ending I want. Sure, I cannot heal my broken body on my own. But I can make other important decisions that shape me as a woman, a wife, and a mother. And I am going to listen to my Father God and use the wisdom and the heart He gave me. And I will decide. I will write a good story. And there will not be a victim in it anywhere. Just a good and true and valiant woman striving to love her God, herself, and her loved ones well. Fighting for justice, for healing, and for hope.

I am tired. But I am determined. Once again. At the end of my rope. But still hanging on.

If you want to hang on with me, as I know some of you have expressed, I'd be glad for the company. There's always room at the end of this rope for another hand or two to grip alongside mine.

Yes, this story is growing longer than I ever wanted. But it's good to be reminded that I am the author and I get to do the writing, even if I can't control all the characters. So this redheaded author is going to write a good story with a good ending. Even if it takes a million pages.

2 comments:

Sarah said...

I feel quite emotional reading this.Good for you seems too shallow a thing to say.What I really want to say is God Bless you and give you the strength and courage to write that story.Sarah x

Marc and Megan said...

Reading this post reminded me of something Paul said in the New Testament - “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed.” [ 2 Cor. 4:8–9]

Your faith in God is inspiring. It feels encouraging to be uplifted by another's faith and perspective.