Life lately has been anything but rosy, and I have the melancholy all the way from the top of my head to the tips of my toes to prove it. And while I love Jesus, I have to admit that I'm having a heck of a time loving His Bride at the moment. This is not a new adventure, as I've cycled through these feelings before with different people at different times. So I ride the bad attitude waves, knowing that God will eventually give me the grace and mercy needed to learn to love my fellow humans again. For I remember the truth in what Derek Webb sings, "If you love Me, you will love the Church." (And by Church, he doesn't mean a building or a denomination, but the whole group of people who follow Jesus. Sometimes I get hung up on that part too.)
But here's the deal. It would be a heck of a lot easier to love the Church if we loved each other well and actually treated each other with kindness and sweetness and love and all that. I think that's where I fall off the end of my rope. I'm pretty sensitive, and after one too many times of being treated without kindness or gentleness or whatever it is that I need by someone who claims to follow the same Jesus I try to follow, I start to get tempted to give up on Christians as a whole. And when I see someone else I love being treated like crap by people who should be loving them instead, my penchant for justice comes to the fore and I want to come in with fists swinging. (I'm so dainty like that.) I pendulum between being angry and being sad and hurt. And I can totally picture the illustration my former pastor used years ago when he talked about Jesus in Heaven looking down at us on Earth and saying, "Kids! You're getting it all wrong! You're missing the point."
Lately, I feel like so many people I know are missing the point. And it makes me want to be a hermit. But I know that instead, like Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, we're called into community even though it's messy. Another blogger gets this too and she expresses it way better than anything I've written here. Plus, she sounds nicer. And I just sound like I have a snarky attitude. (I'm working on it, Mom, I promise!) So without further words from me, here you go.....
This lady says it well.
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1 comment:
Hello! I love it when you get angry!! You are right - that lady says it very well, but you also say it well and with passion.One of the reasons I walked away from the church and the Christian faith was because of the petty mindedness of some people who were closely involved in the 'churchy' side of things.Although I no longer believe I totally agree with you in the way you write about this.It is such a shame that the message of love, understanding and compassion can be overshadowed and forgotten by human ego.I hope writing this calmed you down and that things are looking brighter.Its strange reading something and not really knowing the back ground!One good thing that comes from this is finding your friend's blog. Thank you! Take care. Sarah x
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