Well then...

I'd like to get on here and say that life is wonderful. In reality, it is very hard.

British Columbia has no money for healthcare until next year. That means only a miracle will get me in for surgery before the new year. We're looking into paying for it, even though we really cannot afford it. We have a tiny bit in savings - for an emergency or for the beginnings of a down payment on a house. But I don't think I can keep going on living unless I get my body fixed.

No one seems to want to advocate for me, and I am learning how to work the rules of this crazy Canadian system. Socialism works if the government isn't broke. When it runs out of money, a screen door on a submarine is more effective at keeping out water than socialized medicine is at taking care of people.

I am low. I've cried out for help. But there really isn't much anyone can do. And people are tired of trying.

I am numb. Because really, if I allowed myself to feel what I'm feeling to its fullness, I would probably not make it.

So there you have it in a nutshell. Life is very hard right now, and I'm thinking that the only thing at the end of this tunnel is probably an oncoming train.

Don't you just love my optimism? Yeah. Me too.