Friday, March 18, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Can I Get a Heck Yeah?
Life lately has been anything but rosy, and I have the melancholy all the way from the top of my head to the tips of my toes to prove it. And while I love Jesus, I have to admit that I'm having a heck of a time loving His Bride at the moment. This is not a new adventure, as I've cycled through these feelings before with different people at different times. So I ride the bad attitude waves, knowing that God will eventually give me the grace and mercy needed to learn to love my fellow humans again. For I remember the truth in what Derek Webb sings, "If you love Me, you will love the Church." (And by Church, he doesn't mean a building or a denomination, but the whole group of people who follow Jesus. Sometimes I get hung up on that part too.)
But here's the deal. It would be a heck of a lot easier to love the Church if we loved each other well and actually treated each other with kindness and sweetness and love and all that. I think that's where I fall off the end of my rope. I'm pretty sensitive, and after one too many times of being treated without kindness or gentleness or whatever it is that I need by someone who claims to follow the same Jesus I try to follow, I start to get tempted to give up on Christians as a whole. And when I see someone else I love being treated like crap by people who should be loving them instead, my penchant for justice comes to the fore and I want to come in with fists swinging. (I'm so dainty like that.) I pendulum between being angry and being sad and hurt. And I can totally picture the illustration my former pastor used years ago when he talked about Jesus in Heaven looking down at us on Earth and saying, "Kids! You're getting it all wrong! You're missing the point."
Lately, I feel like so many people I know are missing the point. And it makes me want to be a hermit. But I know that instead, like Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, we're called into community even though it's messy. Another blogger gets this too and she expresses it way better than anything I've written here. Plus, she sounds nicer. And I just sound like I have a snarky attitude. (I'm working on it, Mom, I promise!) So without further words from me, here you go.....
This lady says it well.
But here's the deal. It would be a heck of a lot easier to love the Church if we loved each other well and actually treated each other with kindness and sweetness and love and all that. I think that's where I fall off the end of my rope. I'm pretty sensitive, and after one too many times of being treated without kindness or gentleness or whatever it is that I need by someone who claims to follow the same Jesus I try to follow, I start to get tempted to give up on Christians as a whole. And when I see someone else I love being treated like crap by people who should be loving them instead, my penchant for justice comes to the fore and I want to come in with fists swinging. (I'm so dainty like that.) I pendulum between being angry and being sad and hurt. And I can totally picture the illustration my former pastor used years ago when he talked about Jesus in Heaven looking down at us on Earth and saying, "Kids! You're getting it all wrong! You're missing the point."
Lately, I feel like so many people I know are missing the point. And it makes me want to be a hermit. But I know that instead, like Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, we're called into community even though it's messy. Another blogger gets this too and she expresses it way better than anything I've written here. Plus, she sounds nicer. And I just sound like I have a snarky attitude. (I'm working on it, Mom, I promise!) So without further words from me, here you go.....
This lady says it well.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
There is Something to the Determination of a Child
I watched a little girl walk all over the place today. Two months ago, she was full of broken bones basically from head to toe. One week ago, she was proud to show me how she was just allowed to stand on her own. And now she is walking on her own. As I watched her full of so much determination motor around like a little penguin, I couldn't help but wonder in awe at how much can be accomplished by desire, perseverance, and stubborn determination.
There are so many reasons Jesus told us to be like little children. I'm thinking it's time to figure out how to be more like an eight year old.
There are so many reasons Jesus told us to be like little children. I'm thinking it's time to figure out how to be more like an eight year old.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Kindness
"Yes, my life has meaning. And so it doesn't matter that the day began with me feeling like a nobody who just got stepped on. As it would turn out, my heart feels much differently now. Funny how just a few minutes of someone's time and a few kind words can do that to a person. "
I wrote that in my private journal just before Christmas on a day that had started out rather crappy but was brightened and given a whole new outlook thanks to my doctor taking a few minutes to speak some encouraging words. My husband and I were talking tonight about how a certain situation could have transpired much differently than it has. He asked me what I'd boil it down to. I couldn't pinpoint it yet, but he mentioned that affirmation would have made a world of difference. Affirmation in the way people spoke and acted would indeed have made all the difference. It's a shame it didn't turn out that way.
So I write here in this space and encourage anyone reading to take a moment to add in the kindness and courtesies that make sunshine in someone's life. Use the "please" and "thank you", the "I'm sorry" and the "well done" when you can. Pay attention to the tone of your spoken and written word. Even if you aren't a word person and don't spend the kind of time thinking about semantics that I do, pay attention to how your words can come across to someone not like you. If you're not a highly sensitive person and you are having to work with a highly sensitive person, don't insist that they speak your language. Try to learn a bit of theirs instead. It won't kill you. It might enrich you. When someone shares their heart, listen. When someone shares their perspective, remember that perspective is reality for that person and seek to understand. Keep a soft heart. Don't discount what someone says even if you have a different viewpoint. Even in the midst of your own exhaustion or grief or stress, take a moment to be kind to the person in front of you.
Kindness matters. It can change the world if you let it.
I wrote that in my private journal just before Christmas on a day that had started out rather crappy but was brightened and given a whole new outlook thanks to my doctor taking a few minutes to speak some encouraging words. My husband and I were talking tonight about how a certain situation could have transpired much differently than it has. He asked me what I'd boil it down to. I couldn't pinpoint it yet, but he mentioned that affirmation would have made a world of difference. Affirmation in the way people spoke and acted would indeed have made all the difference. It's a shame it didn't turn out that way.
So I write here in this space and encourage anyone reading to take a moment to add in the kindness and courtesies that make sunshine in someone's life. Use the "please" and "thank you", the "I'm sorry" and the "well done" when you can. Pay attention to the tone of your spoken and written word. Even if you aren't a word person and don't spend the kind of time thinking about semantics that I do, pay attention to how your words can come across to someone not like you. If you're not a highly sensitive person and you are having to work with a highly sensitive person, don't insist that they speak your language. Try to learn a bit of theirs instead. It won't kill you. It might enrich you. When someone shares their heart, listen. When someone shares their perspective, remember that perspective is reality for that person and seek to understand. Keep a soft heart. Don't discount what someone says even if you have a different viewpoint. Even in the midst of your own exhaustion or grief or stress, take a moment to be kind to the person in front of you.
Kindness matters. It can change the world if you let it.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Thinking About the Future
Since our friend died on December 28th and our whole world changed as we had once known it, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Things like what matters most, relationships, a legacy, taking care to plan for my child in the event something happens to me before he is grown, and other things have filled my thoughts and kept me up at night. But after listening to my friend speak of Heaven and the conversations she is having with her children as they grieve the loss of their daddy, I've been thinking about it too.
The other day, I crossed the border with a friend and stopped at the bookstore to pick up a couple books for our home group. I spent a bit of time looking for this one book on Heaven that my friend had mentioned reading to her kids. While it wasn't in stock, this other book was. It's called Heaven, and it's basically an encyclopedic look at Heaven by Randy Alcorn. It is endorsed by Joni Earickson Tada, among others, so I knew it was probably pretty good. I've read other books by Alcorn and was willing to give this one a try even though it wasn't cheap. So far, it has been totally worth every penny.
He backs up each point with Scripture and explains a lot of history and where we get some of our notions about the afterlife. I'm only now realizing that a lot of what I was taught growing up came from terribly written hymns, silly Baptist school teachers who were more influenced by Plato than they would ever dream, and some other less than stellar resources. What I'm learning about Heaven now actually makes me look forward to going there.
This post totally does not do the book justice at all, but I highly recommend it to anyone whether you have a faith or not. It is fascinating, and if you are at all like me and secretly hope to live in Narnia and be friends with the Beavers one day, I think you'll like this book. I totally dream about seeing the giraffe I met at the St. Louis Zoo this fall when I get there. I hope we are neighbors. =)
The other day, I crossed the border with a friend and stopped at the bookstore to pick up a couple books for our home group. I spent a bit of time looking for this one book on Heaven that my friend had mentioned reading to her kids. While it wasn't in stock, this other book was. It's called Heaven, and it's basically an encyclopedic look at Heaven by Randy Alcorn. It is endorsed by Joni Earickson Tada, among others, so I knew it was probably pretty good. I've read other books by Alcorn and was willing to give this one a try even though it wasn't cheap. So far, it has been totally worth every penny.
He backs up each point with Scripture and explains a lot of history and where we get some of our notions about the afterlife. I'm only now realizing that a lot of what I was taught growing up came from terribly written hymns, silly Baptist school teachers who were more influenced by Plato than they would ever dream, and some other less than stellar resources. What I'm learning about Heaven now actually makes me look forward to going there.
This post totally does not do the book justice at all, but I highly recommend it to anyone whether you have a faith or not. It is fascinating, and if you are at all like me and secretly hope to live in Narnia and be friends with the Beavers one day, I think you'll like this book. I totally dream about seeing the giraffe I met at the St. Louis Zoo this fall when I get there. I hope we are neighbors. =)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Quick Bloggy Note
For my favorite Sarah in the UK and a few others, I am so sorry your comments haven't been showing up. I just found out about them when I was going through some html settings. Though I had set everything to notify me with comments, none were coming into my email inbox, so I just assumed you all were quiet (or that I'd scared you away). =) Anyway, I've hopefully fixed that issue, and now hopefully you won't think I was just ignoring you! Because I wasn't, I promise. =)
Little Birds & the Dark
My husband has a lot in common with the American Dipper. That's a story for perhaps another day, but that is why he calls me Little Bird. Well, for that reason and the fact that I remind him of this little bird he often sees on construction sites. Currently, this Little Bird is prone to running into trees, pecking too much, and forgetting that I have a Heavenly Father who really does care about even the littlest of birds.
Grasshopper came down with a cough and a fever this afternoon. He and his daddy are snuggled under the covers fast asleep and I'm still awake longing for connection, wishing that a simple conversation could take away the pain in my heart. But it's too late to call anyone and because I know sleep is impossible at the moment, I decided to read some of my favorite blogs in hopes that they would have some form of connection, some nugget of hope or truth to shed some light on this dark day. To be perfectly honest, I was ignoring that still small voice that was inviting me to connect with Him and not a phone or a computer. But God loves me despite my looking for His comfort everywhere but Him. God in His infinite mercy led me here, where Angie Smith contributes on occasion.
Check out her post and then come back if you like.
When I got to the paragraph she quotes about how a sparrow cannot learn to sing in the daylight but must instead learn to sing in the darkness, the tears just burst out of me with a cathartic suddenness that only happens when God opens the floodgates Himself. Because that is me. I'm that sparrow. Years ago, I had other beautiful songs to sing. But the season for those songs is over and I've been left wondering what song I'm meant to sing and how I can even begin to learn it. Can a Little Bird really learn to sing in this darkness that seems to prevail despite every attempt to illuminate it? I believe she can. It may take time, and it certainly will take darkness. But if God really made a bird on purpose that needs darkness to discover its song, surely He knows what He's doing in my own dark season.
Grasshopper came down with a cough and a fever this afternoon. He and his daddy are snuggled under the covers fast asleep and I'm still awake longing for connection, wishing that a simple conversation could take away the pain in my heart. But it's too late to call anyone and because I know sleep is impossible at the moment, I decided to read some of my favorite blogs in hopes that they would have some form of connection, some nugget of hope or truth to shed some light on this dark day. To be perfectly honest, I was ignoring that still small voice that was inviting me to connect with Him and not a phone or a computer. But God loves me despite my looking for His comfort everywhere but Him. God in His infinite mercy led me here, where Angie Smith contributes on occasion.
Check out her post and then come back if you like.
When I got to the paragraph she quotes about how a sparrow cannot learn to sing in the daylight but must instead learn to sing in the darkness, the tears just burst out of me with a cathartic suddenness that only happens when God opens the floodgates Himself. Because that is me. I'm that sparrow. Years ago, I had other beautiful songs to sing. But the season for those songs is over and I've been left wondering what song I'm meant to sing and how I can even begin to learn it. Can a Little Bird really learn to sing in this darkness that seems to prevail despite every attempt to illuminate it? I believe she can. It may take time, and it certainly will take darkness. But if God really made a bird on purpose that needs darkness to discover its song, surely He knows what He's doing in my own dark season.
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